Amy is standing in front of the bathroom mirror engrossed in her skin care voodoo program when I walk in.
I pat her ass.
“Do you like getting spanked, babe?” I ask.
“NO!” she answers.
“Me neither. I don’t really get the whole spanking thing,” I ponder, “Maybe people who get off on it were spanked as kids.”
“That doesn’t […]

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“You look too young to be a doctor,” the post office lady behind the counter says and smiles. I honestly couldn’t say the same about her.
I’m surprised. At 37, I don’t hear that as often as I used to. I just smile back.
My face certainly doesn’t […]

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“Hi, Danny?” I called from the car.
“Where you at foo?” the voice on the other end of the phone answered.
“… What?”
“Where you at foo?” he said again.
“Oh … about a half hour away. I’ll call you when I’m at your hotel.”
He actually talks the way he writes? Weird.
I’ve never met Danny in […]

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I’m off to pick up my long time internet friend, the infamous and unstoppable Danny McGuffin.  If you never hear from me again, and see something on the news about a prank gone awry that ended up in a massive fireball explosion in Southeast Michigan, let this be your first lead.
And tell Hawkgirl I love […]

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I’ve always despised the concept of “family” growing up.
To me, families were inherently dysfunctional groups of loud, fat, old, annoying, and/or pushy people, with their self-indulgent in-jokes and get-togethers. Families were for the weak and the co-dependent. That’s not to say they weren’t intriguing sometimes. For example, I liked the movie […]

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Did anyone happen to see my wife last week? She’s about 5′ 7″, slim, flat booty, nice rack, Corean, and is frequently mistaken for being a New Yorker (not because she sounds like Joe Pesci, but because she speaks like she has a chip on her shoulder).

Amy was at an oncology conference in […]

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I woke up early Christmas Eve, around 5 a.m. My rest was restless. Thoughts of my dying cat weighed heavy on my heart like a succubus in lead gogo boots standing on my chest. […]

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I.
The old 6-story hospital where I work at recently opened their new 11-story hospital next door. It’s strange. Entire wings are now just Pardon Our Dust signs and empty hallways. The old Medical ICU is just a large empty room with several other empty rooms. No beeps. […]

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Will Smith: It’s better to have loved and lost
than never to have loved at all, right?
Tommy Lee Jones: (Glaring) Try it.
– “Men In Black”
(Continued from yesterday’s entry.)
7 days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. That’s how long I waited before I called Amy after she told me “It’s over.”
Every day the […]

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So this is the story of how a geek like me got a girl like Amy.
I remember the first time I saw Amy, almost 5 years ago this month. It was the summer between my 1st and 2nd year of medical school and my mom was visiting. She wanted to go […]

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