“Fifth floor, ladies lingerie,” said a fat man in a gurney as I walked into the elevator. The pale transport person humored him quietly.
I pressed “10″ and smiled politely while looking at my patient list. The nurse had urgently paged me to see a patient for shortness of breath.
“What’s up doc?” he said.
“Hey, hi,” I […]

continue reading.....

My Amy (a clinical nurse) was seeing a 95-year old cancer patient in the clinic with a family member.
“Could you move my glass over there?” Mrs. 95 asked the other person.
“But you can’t even reach it over there, what’s the point of putting the glass there?” the family member replied.
“I am going to kick […]

continue reading.....

My wife Amy works as a nurse in a cancer research office part-time. She told me the following story.
“One of my 60-year old (cancer) patients got mugged yesterday.”
“Really? What happened?”
“He was leaving an office building when this mugger told him to give up his wallet.
“The old man said he remembered his oncologist telling him […]

continue reading.....

Just follow the yellow brick walls, Dorothy. That’s how I knew I was getting close to the morgue. The art deco facade of the consumer-friendly hospital stops once you get closer to the places consumer/patients rarely go to - the living ones at least. That’s where you see what the hospital […]

continue reading.....

The text message on my pager read:
“New pt - Renfield - foreign obj ingestn”
Mr. Renfield was a 30-ish psych patient from the forensic facility, a.k.a. The Crazy House. I have no idea what forensics (the use of science to establish facts in a court of law) has to do with psychiatric patients but that’s […]

continue reading.....

“I’m three, I mean four today, appah!” my little girl runs out of her room in Hello Kitty pajamas to inform me.
“I know baby! You’re a big girl now. I’ll be back for the party,” I reply before leaving for work.

To work I drive. I park. I trudge. […]

continue reading.....

THE SINISTER PURPOSE OF POST-IT’S
AND OTHER SECRETS

“Haven’t seen you in awhile Dr. Scott,” Gwen the Death Clerk says as I approach. Her Desk of Demise awaits with an unsigned Death Certificate for me to fill out. […]

continue reading.....

 
She died on Saturday.
The Mother paged me on Friday to consider withdrawing support of Terminal Girl, her only child, but I was banging on someone’s chest in a CPR at the time. I called the mother and apologized that night but she graciously said they talked to the MICU resident and would come back tomorrow […]

continue reading.....

“When you get to Hell, tell them I sent you.
You’ll get a group discount.”
– Caleb in the game Blood2
That last call had been more hectic than usual. Three CPRs that night. The first two of which died with their hearts technically still beating, but not strongly enough to get the blood flowing to […]

continue reading.....

This entry is written out of chronological order.
[ … 7:37 AM … ]
My intern sees me on the floor and says, “Hey you shaved. How much sleep did you get?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I was helping Fuzzyhead (another resident) in the MICU after that last CODE until 5 in the morning. At least I […]

continue reading.....