“You go back to school tomorrow, yay!” I said to my boy.

“Boo,” he replied.

“It’s only for a few hours a week.  No big deal.”

“What do you mean?  It’s so many hours.”

“Not really.  Look, sure, five days times seven hours, that’s thirty-five hours a week, right?”

“Yeah. Too many.”

“Your lunch period is a half hour a day.  That’s 2 and a half hours a week.  Then recesses, probably an hour a day.  That’s five hours.  We’re already down around 28 hours a week.”

“So?”

“Bathroom breaks, say fifteen minutes a day, that’s another hour and a half a week.  Except for those long ones on the toilet, make it two hours a week.  Twenty six hours a week now.”

“No, haha, I don’t take that long.”

“That’s not what your mom says about us.  How much time do you spend daydreaming per class?  At least fifteen minutes, you need to work on that.  Focus.  That’s 15 times 5 classes a day times 5 days a week.  That’s around six hours a week of non-school activity.  We’re down to twenty-two hours of school per week.

“You like gym and art, right?  That’s like fun time for you.  We don’t need to count that either.  Minus five hours.  Seventeen hours a week now.”

“No, wait a minute.”

“How about putting your winter boots and coat on and off before recess.  Another hour a week, easy.  Sixteen hours.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Oh and quiet library time looking for books.  More fun stuff during school.  Minus two hours.  And computer time at school.  All play.  Minus another two hours.   We’re down to twelve hours of actual school work per week now. That’s like half a day, boy.  That’s it.”

“Haha, no appah, this isn’t right.”

“What about just walking from one room to another several times a day?  Easy fifteen minutes a day, or… an hour or so a week.  Eleven hours.

“Talking to your friends?  Five minutes per class?  Ten?  Easy two hours a week.  Nine hours a week now.”

“Noooooo,” he said putting his pillow over his face, “It is a lot more than nine hours a week.”

“History may lie.  People may lie.  But math, my boy, doesn’t lie.  We’re not even done yet.

“What about farting?”

“Hahaha!  What?  It doesn’t take long!”

“I mean when you and your friends cut one in class and you play the Blame Game for ten minutes blaming each other and denying it.  Then sniffing to try and track down the suspect.  Don’t tell me fourth graders don’t do that because I know.”

“HAHAHA!  No, we don’t!  You do, I don’t do that.”

“Minus one hour a week for sniffing, blaming, and tracking farts.  That is definitely NOT school work.”

He was still laughing.

“So that leaves eight hours of actual school work per week.  That’s like one school day.  You could do that in your sleep.  Spread out over the week, it’s less than two hours a day of real learning and focusing.  Now go to sleep and get ready for your one actual day of school this week.”

“I don’t sniff farts!  Haha!”

“You better not.  You’re only hurting yourself.”

(Reading non-peer reviewed “studies” on the internet is a lot like the “logic and calculations” above sometimes.)

[Comments disabled.  Thank you for stopping by.]