My mind keeps turning over as I turn over in bed once again, feeling one sinus empty as another sinus fills up, like secretions though the hourglass.

“Take something so I can go to sleep,” Amy says from her side of the bed.

“So you can go to sleep?”

Did I hear something?  Those windows and doors in the basement concern me sometimes.  Having to rely on the kindness of strangers not to break into our house.  Adrenaline sobers me up.  Is this what a buzzkill is like?

Tried going to bed early again, watched the first half of Hitman again.  This time knowing who Timothy Olyphant is (great in Deadwood).  The look on his face as he strangles the other agent under the subway tracks makes me miss jiu jitsu again.  I have to wonder if the other agent tapped out before passing out, would Agent 47  instinctively let go and say, “Good match, man.”

Thinking about the old madame with endstage emphysema going home  tomorrow.  Nice lady but Jesus woman, I’m here to treat a lot of other people too, not talk about your relatives all afternoon.  I don’t have the heart to cut her off.  I just sit there and nod and sweat.  Eventually she loses her breath from talking too much anyways.

Kitchen cabinets.  Kids cold medicines.  Orange.  Clear.  I’ll take this and this and this.  A few tablespoons of this and that.  Oh, Benadryl.  I know ye well, just never actually tried it.  The go-to drug for rashes, itching, and sometimes nausea and insomnia.  Tastes good too, like a loving but concerned mother.  Sometimes the old people act a little crazy with Benadryl though.  We’ll see what happens to me.

Thinking about my two depositions seven or eight years ago.  Didn’t have a good experience with attorneys on either side then.  Sham cases.  Treated me like I was Satan, then I was inexplicably dropped from both cases.  Real souring experience on the whole helping your fellow man outlook.  Guess I’m lucky though, only two cases that never went to court, when the average doc can expect ten lawsuits?  When people  joke about suing, I always think they’re a dick.  When they’ve actually sued, I think they’re an infected dick.  Sometimes I can’t help it, due to my experiences.  (Sure, bad doctors “deserve it” but what kind of effect do you think it has on someone who considers themselves, may I be so bold, a good doctor.)

Been taking too much pseudoephedrine this week just so I can talk for a few minutes uninterrupted by my nose at work.  I’ve been doing the masked doctor thing again.  Physician keep thy illness to thyself.  There just aren’t enough people for me to call in sick for a little runny nose.  Manpower, so often the limiting factor.  I dehydrate myself during work hours to limit the supply for nasal secretions.  Risky for kidney stones and constipation among other things, not to mention the hypertension the Sudafed is causing.  Medea Sin is yin and yang.  You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have The Facts of Life.

Kids finally back to school this week.  Sun Su wanted to play chess after homework.  He was in the top three of his chess class but he’s moved on already.  Asking about piano class instead (Ooseung is taking piano lessons).

Benadryl kicking in now.  So this is what it’s like.  Like a curtain being pulled down with a ton of bricks.  Just five hours before I have to get up again.  Shiney.

Feeling like the guy at the other end of Hitman’s garrote now.  Not going to tap out this time.

I’ll be more reasonable in the morning.