I lost my wedding ring last weekend. I was giving Sun Su a piggyback ride near the museum and I pocketed my ring because it was chafing. That was the last time I saw it.
Should I tell Amy? Should I wait? My hand felt naked.
I kept my left hand in my pocket all day at work. That evening, the pressure was too much to bear.
“I, uh, lost my wedding ring yesterday.”
Amy shrugged, “It’s not a big deal.”
Wha–?! I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised. Amy doesn’t even wear her actual wedding ring. She wears a Hello Kitty ring on that finger instead. Fitting.
“You don’t care if I’m walking around looking all – single?”
“It’s not the ring that matters. It’s how you act,” she answered.
“It’s not me I’m worried about. It’s everyone else.”
“Oh please.”
“You have no idea. At work. It doesn’t happen all the time but it definitely happens more in my whitecoat than out of it.”
“Uh huh.”
“You have no idea. No idea. Whatevs.”
The next day.
“Did you page me?” I answered from a hospital cubby-hole.
“Just wanted to see how it’s goin’,” Amy replied nonchalantly.
“It’s fine.”
“Anyone hitting on you since you aren’t wearing your ring?”
“… No.”
“Okay, just checking.”
When I got home the next day, Amy gave me a kiss,
“I got your ring.”
“What? You found it?”
“No, I bought one.”
“How much was it?”
“Four hundred dollars.”
“FOUR HUNDR — WHAT?! I thought my last one only cost a hundred.”
“It didn’t cost a hundred. It was white gold. What did you think it was?”
“I don’t know. Stainless steel. Lead? Silver?”
“You’ll just have to make sure you don’t lose it.”
The ring was nicer than my lost one but too much bling and too big.
I know I’m just going to lose it again.
The next day, our babysitter found my old ring in the box where I dump my loose change.
Woohoo!
“I’m going to return this then,” Amy said.
“Wait. Don’t,” I protested.
“What? Why not?”
“I have to get pictures for my website first.”
___
GUN GOLEM
I don’t think they allow pictures at the museum I shot this at, but it was a pretty neat sculpture. It was made out of guns and gun parts from a buy-back in South America… or maybe it was Africa … or Detroit?
Sun Su obviously felt it was much less scary than that Stitch nightmare at Disneyworld too.
