I arrived at the school fifteen minutes before lunch time.  I spied on my six-year old cub protectively through the colorful cardboarded windows of his classroom, relieved to see my shy boy interacting with his classmates enthusiastically.  My two fears are that he will be like me, and not be like me.

The school cafeteria was depressingly small, but maybe they all are at our age.  I remember when I went back to visit my old elementary school at age 19, I expected Minas Tirith and found The Shire (for non-geeks, The Shire = small people place, Minas Tirith = big kings place).  I held my teachers in high regard and wanted to show them what a good person they molded.    Most were nonplussed or just didn’t remember who I was.  In retrospect, how could they?  Childhood makes its own magic.  My esteem for them and myself diminished a bit then like a forgotten child and I grew up a little more stoney.

An Indian girl missing her front teeth sat next to Sun Su and me, “Hi Sun Su!”  He avoided her gaze as if it would turn him to stone.  So much like me.  I said hi for him.

I used to think “hot lunch” was awesome as a kid.  Now, the styrofoam trays with the chicken cubes in gel sauce plus a roll seemed lonely, like some of the first-graders themselves without parents or little reminders of jokes written by mom on a banana.  Little things that seem big now.

The “bring a loved one to lunch day” was actually “lure them in for the book fair day.”  I loved book fair day as a kid.  All those untapped journeys and secrets at your fingertips.  A good book can make the world change around you and within you.

“You can pick two books, okay?”

“Okay.”

He came back with two books – one for himself and one for his sister.  Be still my maudlin heart.

“That’s really nice.  You can still get one more book for yourself,” the book fairy made me say.

I picked up a Hello Kitty summer activity book for Amy and Ooseung.

“We still have a little time left.  You can go to recess or whatever you want,” I told him.

“I want to read my book.”  I would too.  “Come on.”

“Okay,” I lumbered after him as he flew down the hall.

We sat in the library by ourselves, looking at Sun Su’s new Bakugan book (it’s kind of like Pokemon with magnetic balls – that sounds wholesome).

“They got Gorem’s name from the word ‘golem,’” I observed as Sun Su paged through the guide.

“What’s a golem?”

“It’s a man-shaped creature made out of one thing – like stone or iron.  Sometimes they guard things,” I explained.

“And this one’s based on a griffon, that’s –”

“A lion creature with wings,” Sun Su interrupted with a Cheshire cat smile.

“I was going to say that exact thing.  How did you know?”

“I just know,” my cub smiled with pride.  Like a magician he never reveals the secrets of his knowledge and it cracks me up.

We sat for a little longer, talking about the names and creatures in his book, until I took him back to class.

Then just like that, I realized he had turned me into a heart golem.