“I used to be a mechanic, doc,” the tall prickly-faced patient told me.  “And I know fixing people ain’t like fixing cars.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“You can give one guy this prostate pill, and it will work just fine.  You give it to me, I pass out and here I am.”

I nodded.  I’ve heard the mechanics/doctors analogy before (Paul actually got me thinking about it a long time ago back when email was The Social Network).  Some mechanics say doctors got it easy because while there are thousands of different makes and models of cars out there, there’s only one make and model of human.  The problem with that comparison is that every person is their own make and model.  Slightly different anatomy, enzyme function, immunities, et cetera.  You see it on the scans, the blood tests, and the varying reactions to the same drugs.  “Everyone is a little different,” I say almost daily in the hospital.

The bod works in mysterious ways.

“Now I got this friend who’s a veterinarian,” he continues, “His patients can’t tell him what’s wrong with them.”

(Not unlike human medicine sometimes.)

“… But he says, that’s a good thing.  Because people lie, don’t they, doc?”

“Yeah, they do,” I smile with understatement.

“People lie, and say this finger hurts, when it’s really this one.  My sister-in-law goes to the emergency room all the time, nothing wrong with her.  You know what she says, doc?”

“No.  What?” I lean against the sink.

“She says, I’m sick, they just don’t know it yet.”

(And that’s why I did not become an emergency room doctor.)

“I don’t lie, doc.  In fact, I’ll tell you something true,” he leans forward in his chair.

“I’m a tall guy and sometimes I like to pee in the sink.”

I laugh… then I stop leaning against the sink.

Sometimes people should lie.