Is there enough time for everything?  I wonder about this often.

The parenting.  The drawing.  The writing.  The doctoring.  The husbanding.  The exercising.  (I haven’t been gaming this week except on the treadmill.)

It seems like you can hardly cover one aspect above without neglecting the others.

Parenting obviously takes the biggest chunk (at home), but it’s also the most important part for myself.   This week I’ve been home watching the kids, while Amy’s been at work part-time.  Sun Su’s at school most of the day, so it’s been Ooseung and me.  I’ve been able to bond with her more, but it still takes serious effort, not unlike getting an aloof cat to like you (she misses her umma).

I have to throttle back my expectations and remind myself that there’s a vast knowledge (and memory) gap between preschool and first grade, between herself and her brother.  I overestimate my little girl because I’m constantly underestimating her older brother.

Unlike her brother, she doesn’t wear her heart on her sleeve, I’ve learned.  She holds on tight to her inner feelings and won’t answer direct questions, so when she unexpectedly told me,

“A girl in my class said I was shy,” I knew it was weighing on her five-year old fist-sized heart.

“Well… there’s nothing wrong with that.  At school, you’re shy, like me.  At home, you’re loud, like you’re umma.  You’re half of me and half of your umma.

“If you don’t want to be shy, just think ‘What would umma do’ and do that.”

“Like what?” Ooseung asked.

“You know, stuff like being the LOUDEST PERSON IN THE ROOM, or shouting a joke, or dancing silly all of a sudden.”

My little girl laughed loudly at that.  She usually just gives my jokes a smile of pity.

“Either way, it’s okay, Ooseung.  That just means you’re like your appah and you’re like your umma.”

She didn’t say anything but she looked at me with smiling dark eyes.

Guess I got sidetracked with this entry.  I meant to talk about all the other stuff too, but the parenting thing kind of pushes it out of the way.   I remind myself that these are fleeting days and she won’t always grab my hand or ask me to play or lay her forehead against my shoulder.   There will be plenty of time for my lonelier pursuits later I understand and that may be the problem.

Time to pick my princess up from school now.

Addendum:

Later, Ooseung whispered to me, “Sometimes, no one knows that I’m thinking.”