Alas, my Week of Geek is coming to a close soon. But not before I tell you about my first comic book convention on Sunday.

Cousin Kevin invited me. He’s a much bigger comics nerd than I am. I mostly just pick up Justice League of America, any random book with nice super-boobies, Fables, Jack of Fables, and anything else that Bill Willingham and Matt Sturges are doing. I’ve always wanted to go to a comic convention, but I just never got around to it. Taking Sun Su was an extra motivator (Ooseung preferred shopping with Amy, sigh).

We went to the Motor City Comic Convention which I imagine is smaller than other conventions just by the fact that DETROIT SUCKS. Even on its last day with all the no-shows, I was overwhelmed by the sheer number of booths.

It was like walking into your favorite comic book/toy/hobby shop times one hundred. There was even a stripper there – in plainclothes with a boyfriend but Kevin recognized her from a local strip club. He’s shady like that.

“You know, we’re like the social outcasts here,” Kevin said noting the costumed individuals walking about.

I’m glad I didn’t wear my cheap foam trooper suit because frankly, it just wouldn’t have cut it. These guys were hardcore.

Sun Su wanted to wear his Darth Vader costume after seeing other people in costumes walking around. We forgot the cape and lightsaber but don’t underestimate the Force – of a six-year old’s imagination.

There were a slew of less active celebrities, most of which I didn’t recognize or never watched. When I did recognize one, I was a little too starstruck or shy to approach. So we just walked by several times from afar.

Margot Kidder – Lois Lane in the original Superman movies. She’s 59 and I honestly wasn’t prepared to see her like this but bless her chain-smoking misspelling pink-undie-wearing heart. I loved the first two Superman movies.

Avery Brooks – I never watched Deep Space Nine but I recognized him as the titular captain of the Star Trek show as well as from other movies. I was surprised he was there due to his more recent success. Kevin mentioned that most Star Trek roles tend to have a sinkhole effect on actors’ careers though.

Mickey Dolenz from The Monkees was there. He got old too.

Erik Estrada, a.k.a Ponch from CHiPs – I guess he’s been on some MTV or VH1 reality show lately. Sorry, but even as a seven-year old in 1977, I knew this guy was just not cool.

We missed Lou Ferrigno by a day. And thus missed a chance to ask one of comicdom’s greatest secrets – how come the Hulk’s pants never ripped apart?

Joe Pantoliano was gone by Sunday too. He’s my least favorite character in pretty much any movie he’s in anyways.

Alan Ruck – I saw a tall guy with a grey beard and mustache (not seen in the pic above) and I had no idea who he was. Only when I got home and looked up the Motor City Comic Con site did I realize, “Hey, that was Cameron the neurotic best friend who killed his dad’s car in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. I always wondered what the hell happened to him.” He could play the principal now. Wow … I could play the principal now….

Martin Klebba – This little person was from Pirates of the Caribbean but I don’t remember seeing him. Then again I didn’t look under the table.

Felix Silla – Little people must travel in pairs, like hobbits! I had no idea who this was either, but apparently he’s been running a monopoly on the good midget parts since 1963. He played Cousin Itt in the Addams Family, a child gorilla in Planet of the Apes, Twiki in Buck Rogers, an ewok in Return of the Jedi, someone in Spaceballs, and the king penguin in Batman Returns (1992), and much more! This guy is the Kevin Bacon of little people.

While we looked at his pictures, Sun Su asked,

“Why is he so small?”

“Because people come in all different sizes, Sun Su,” I answered.

“His face looks like Yoda,” Sun Su innocently observed. I tried not to laugh or make eye contact as we left.

Juliet Landau – I didn’t recognize her either until I looked her up. She was Drusilla on Buffy. I guess glasses and a change in hairstyle really can be a secret identity.

Part of me felt a little bad for these celebrities. It must suck going to Detroit for a nerd convention only to be passed up by most of the nerds there. But that same thing made me respect them a little more too. Most of them weren’t promoting anything. They were there for the fans. And of course, the money, just like any regular person. I have more respect for these actors as people trying to make a living than all the Angelinas and Oprahs adopting orphanages and donating 0.00001% of their income to worthy causes for publicity. Sorry but I just don’t believe Angelina’s adopted kids actually know what it’s like to have a mother who’s more interested in their emotional welfare than in their publicity potential.

But I haven’t gotten to the best part yet. There was an entire row of Star Wars booths with people in actual movie-quality costumes. At first Sun Su didn’t want to take pictures with them, but like a freshman at a high school dance or a new guy at a strip club, eventually he warmed up to the idea.

The Darth Vader even breathed like Darth Vader. Only after the pic did they say you have to buy a raffle ticket, though. I guess funding for yet another Deathstar is at an all-time low.

The wandering storm trooper and clone trooper guys were really nice. The clone trooper was chillin’ by a 501st Legion booth unmasked but happily geared up when we asked for a picture. They were awesome. They gave Sun Su a free imperial tattoo (“Do you want a Cog?” the girl asked.) and a little Darth Vader candy. I have to admit I looked up the membership requirements on the 501st Legion. I can’t think of a more fun way to do charity work.

Clone troopers and bounty hunters are definitely the cool people in the Star Wars saga, but there’s a soft spot in my heart for the storm troopers. You’ve got to have a sense of humor to wear a storm trooper costume. They’re the worst soldiers in the galaxy, the everyman of the imperial army. Their armor attracts laser bolts, they can hardly see out of their helmets, and they don’t even have real names – just designations that start with TK-###. Even the Lego Star Wars game has storm troopers falling on their face every time they jump. You have to root for at least ONE storm trooper to not get blown away in every laserfight. They’re the underdogs and unsung cogs of the imperial machine, much like those semi-celebrities of years past used up by the Hollywood machine, just trying to make a living, nearly forgotten in their sacrifices for us, the benefactors of their labor.

So here’s to you, iconic everyman TK-394. Thanks for courageously defending us against those pesky anarchic hillbilly rebs and their lazysticks. You’re the best!

[Loot from convention: Four issues of Salvation Run that I was missing, two Star Wars pins, two Snoopy pins, six Star Wars Pez dispensers, one Star Wars print of Sun Su's choosing, one kids Star Wars kids shirt - they were out of Halo3.]

ADDENDUM:

I showed Sun Su the pictures again just now and he said, “You know why I didn’t wear my mask in the picture with Darth Vader? Because I didn’t want to get people mixed up.”

*BIG HUG*

ANOTHER ADDENDUM:

Here’s another take on the Motor City Comics Convention this weekend. She took some nice pictures with the celebrities there.