Comments on: UNHINGED

By: » SEND IN THE CLONES Medea’s Memoirs: half-Corean dad, doc, artist who is not afraid of going to Hell

Sun, 18 May 2008 03:17:46 +0000

[…] clone trooper costume but he unsmuggled it the night before while I was at jiu-jitsu practice (my fingernail is doing fine, by the way - my superpower is Enhanced Fingernail […]

By: scott

scott — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:19:48 +0000

Aein, thumbs up for your mom! I’m thinking of taping my mom’s mouth shut — I mean, taping my fingernail up when I go back to practice.

By: Aein

Aein — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:26:48 +0000

my mom doesn’t expect money from M and i yet, but i know once i have finished all of my schooling and got a career that i will have to send money to her. M already helps support his own mother, but she is older and really can’t work. plus he’s the youngest out of four, so she expects less from him, haha! my mother, thank god, has become financially independent from my father (who’s sick and can’t work) so she’s doing well working full time.

corean moms are always somewhat difficult… so i hope your fingernail heals quickly and *hugs!*

By: scott

scott — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:45:13 +0000

GG, this cracked me up:
“*that* was their version of a 401k plan.” :-))
More beautiful nails, eh? Hahaha.

By: gg

gg — Wed, 14 May 2008 23:52:29 +0000

k has money automatically deducted from his paycheck and straight into his parents’ checking account, twice a month. do i resent it? sometimes. they retired as soon as their kids graduated from college and got a full-time job. *that* was their version of a 401k plan. it’s a different generation/cultural thinking, i guess. i grew up in a family where my parents still work and they still try to give ME money, even though i make more than them. anyway, i understand your situation, and i’m sorry you are dealing with it, though, in the end… it’s only money? hope your fingernail heals. i hear sally hansen makes a product that you can use for stronger, more beautiful nails.

By: scott

scott — Wed, 14 May 2008 18:54:55 +0000

Kiatortilla, thank you for the kind message. Haha, don’t feel obligated to use the C-spelling for Corea on my site. I don’t mind how people spell it. I just don’t appreciate those that tell me how I can’t spell it.

Mike, your idea makes sense. I think I’ve seen that happen as well. The Vader analogy is interesting too.

Joy, you sound like a darling daughter. Amy had a partially unhinged toenail last month and that gave me the heeby jeebies too.

Blberry, I do like to occasionally mash up and metaphorize my entries. As for duty, these quotes sum it up for me:

“Duties are not performed for duty’s sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. ” — Mark Twain

“Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.” — Oscar Wilde

By: blbrry

blbrry — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:57:37 +0000

gee scott, all that from the pain of a fingernail. total catharsis. anyway, in corean culture, the males (sons) take care of the family financially. its their duty. i find that literally, blood comes from blood, so your support of your mom is like ‘repayment’ for all the support she has given to you. love is not just a sentiment, love is things, love is tangible in the form of support and money. easy to resent, but hard to change.

it sounds like your mom is depressed and needs a hangnail of her own.

By: Halfy79

Halfy79 — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:52:01 +0000

PS - I hate “unhinged” nails as well. I couldn’t stand that foot fungus commercial where the fungus guy would lift up some guy’s toenail. ARGHHHH!!! And once, Mike ended up losing his big-toe nail after it bruised. He loved freaking me out by sticking his foot in my face.

Great, now I’ve got the heeby jeebies!

By: Halfy79

Halfy79 — Wed, 14 May 2008 12:49:55 +0000

I can somewhat relate, actually. I still pay my mom “rent” even though I haven’t lived with her in 3 years. And this is fine with me because it all relates to my dad leaving her (us) with a mortgage that was too much to carry on what she earns. Luckily, it’s almost paid off.

But ever since the divorce, she hasn’t had health insurance. And I nag her constantly about it… even telling her that THEY’LL TAKE MY INHERITANCE if you have a stroke or heart attack and die!!! See, I’m sensitive too.

Ah, mothers.

By: Mike

Mike — Wed, 14 May 2008 03:28:24 +0000

From what I’ve observed and from stories I’ve traded with others, I think the Asian-immigrant widows go through something of a delayed mid-life crisis.

It’s kind of like how when everyone around you gets sick, but you can’t get sick because of major responsibilities, so you don’t. Then when your responsibilities subside, or when you get to your vacation, your body jumps at the chance to get sick and force you to sit down a while so you can heal. With the Asian-immigrant widows, when the kids are grown, it’s time to set aside the severe adult responsibilities dumped on them when they weren’t finished really maturing in the first place, and go through some serious dysfunction, and I don’t even mean that in a bad way.

Or, if you prefer, it’s like the Darth Vader armor of authoritarian immigrant parenthood finally cracking open, and what’s inside isn’t ready for a dignified retirement. Their individuality is a pale, worm-like thing that hasn’t gotten all that much exercise with all the burdens of their responsibilities. If they can be drawn out of their armor, their individuality has a chance to finally get some sun and some exercise.

At first, fear is likely to drive them to try to bind their armor back together. It’s like an addict trying to secure the privileges that obstruct their healing. Exploring the dead-ends of our detachments from reality is part of the blossoming of every individual.